Amanda

WHO CARES WHETHER I slept on a furry quilt of satin or a blanket of acridly
pointed thorns,
Who cares whether I ate in plates coated with scintillating silver or didn’t consume
food at all,
Who cares whether I used perfumed soap to scrub my persona or bathed in water
leaking abundantly from the gutters,
Who cares whether I wore linen suits blended with rich denim or was wandering in
unscrupulous rags on the chilly streets,
Who cares whether I studied diligently browsing trough complicated literature or
gallivanted through the country farm,
Who cares whether I took medicine in high fever or gulped sips of red wine to go off
to sleep,
Who cares whether I played with ornately embellished soft toys or contented myself
molding incongruous shapes in disdainful clay,
Who cares whether I traversed the streets in luxury sedans or spent marathon hours
to reach my destination barefoot,
Who cares whether I deciphered mind boggling puzzles or smoked cigarettes
incessantly on the house terrace,
Who cares whether I bought fresh fruits from the market or plucked them
surreptitiously from the orchard tree,
Who cares whether I flew in the grandiloquent aircraft or swam across choppy
waves of the ocean to witness the world,
Who cares whether I behaved somberly in front of my elders or barked a volley of
abashing expletives at the same,
Who cares whether I clambered up stairs leading to the sacrosanct church or whiled
away the whole of the day gambling for money,
Who cares whether I spent the afternoon relishing the cool air of the airconditioner
or perspired like a bull under the sweltering sun,
Who cares whether I celebrated several festivals or feasted on intoxicating beer
every night,
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Who cares whether I trimmed my moustache scrupulously every day or let my beard
grow the way it wanted; taking random roots,
Who cares whether I lead my life doing benevolent deeds or spent the remaining
part of it in despicable jail,
Who cares whether I mixed in the high society or had a group of dreaded gangsters
as my roommates and friends,
Who cares whether I had blissful dreams in the night or woke up with petrified jerks
every ten minutes,
My parents had left when I was an innocuous kid; the treacherous tyranny of a car
crash rendering them dead,
And the adulterated society in which I existed today had unanimously christened me
an orphan,
Made me wholesomely numb to the spirit of love; made me forget the essence of the
word care.

Don’t get any big ideas
They’re not gonna happen
You paint your smile
And fill the holes
There’ll be something missing
Just when you found it
It’s gone
Just when you feel it
You don’t
It’s gone forever

She stands stark naked
And she beckons you to bed
Don’t go, you’ll only want
To come back again

So don’t get any big ideas
They’re not gonna happen
You’ll go to Hell
For what your
Dirty mind is thinking

And now that you found it
It’s gone
Now that you feel it
You don’t
It’s gone forever

I AWOKE WITH an enchanting smile in the morning on a
mattress of painted
silver,
the orphan in the street wiped his face of obnoxious
dirt.
I entered my Spanish lavatory to expurgate my bowels,
the orphan in the street sat down in wild grass
emanating from fields of
paddy.
I brushed my teeth with satiny floss and dental paste,
the orphan in the street used a brittle neem stick to
polish his worn enamel.
I washed my face with perfumed soap and lascivious
cream,
the orphan on the street used a curry of mud to clean
streaks of blotted
dirt.
I draped my persona with garments of rich denim
blended with flocculent
thread,
the orphan on the street wore a soiled jute sack
hanging like a scarecrow on
his body.
I slipped my dainty toes in cushioned interiors of my
velvet shoes,
the orphan on the street left his chapped bohemian
feet bare.
I dedicated gargantuan amounts of time trimming my
bushy whiskers,
the orphan on the street was obsessed chopping slices
of tree lumber.
I exited for office; in the royal camouflage of my
honey brown Mercedes,
the orphan in the street traversed kilometers in the
naked sun; to reach the
mill he worked in.
I worked in an refrigerated ambience juxtaposed with
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abundant flora,
the orphan in the street perspired in sweltering
currents of heat.
I came back home before dusk strangulated light,
the orphan on the street arrived a few minutes past
midnight.
I then thought I had seen enough of agony; distressing
discrimination,
took the orphan in the street within the candid
comfort of my arms,
fed him with sumptuous food; after scrubbing his
silhouette with tons of
carbolic,
made him sleep in furry quilts beside me;
with mesmerizing notes of music diffusing from the CD
systems..
He slept like an untamed horse all night;
and when he got up in the morning; there were tears
dribbling down his soft
cheek,
he hadn’t words to express his gratitude; the
spontaneity of love he had; for the first time in his life received.

I just couldn’t make out his name; simply by looking
into his innocently hazel eyes,
I just couldn’t make out his religion; simply by
gauging the pace of his walk; the lanes on which he
traveled,
I just couldn’t make out the place he might be
residing; simply by staring at the color of his
clothes,
I just couldn’t make out the money he had incarcerated
in his pocket; simply by casting a look at the back of
his trouser,
I just couldn’t make out the words he might be
extremely fond of; simply by the shade of his lips,
I just couldn’t make out his passions in life; the
things he had an insatiable zeal for; simply by
admiring his supreme height,
I just couldn’t make out the color of blood flowing in
his veins; simply by glancing a trifle at his rubicund
skin,
I just couldn’t make out the dreams engulfing his
mind; simply by witnessing his mystical shadow,
I just couldn’t make out whether he was married or
not; by simply listening to his authoritative voice,
I just couldn’t make out the exact size of his shoe;
simply by running my fingers nimbly across his fading
footprints,
I just couldn’t make out the destination he was going
to; simply by viewing the bag he held stubbornly in
his fortified palms,
I just couldn’t make out the speed of his heart; the
turbulence that might going on inside; by simply
casting one look beneath his shirt inundated with
profuse sweat,
I just couldn’t make out the abuses he had spoken a
little while ago; simply by straining my ears to his
present voice,
I just couldn’t make out the fraternity of clothes he
vehemently adored; by simply peering at his existing
pair of bedraggled coat and trousers,
I just couldn’t make out the insects that had stung
him all throughout his life; simply by spotting the
fresh bruises sprawled incoherently on his arms,
I just couldn’t make out the actual strength and
tenacity he possessed in his demeanor; simply by
standing abreast by his side for a few racy seconds,

HAD ALL YOUR SO-CALLED MANLINESS DIED ?
Had all your so called manliness; the power in your bulging muscle
ludicrously died; that you now resorted to satanically selling the
innocuously godly flesh of small children; for replenishing your
spurious canisters of beer and tawdry wine?
Had all your so called manliness; the finesse of inimitable creativity
in your fingers pathetically died; that you now resorted to
mercilessly chopping the godly fingers of small children; so that more
and more plebeian gave them the indispensable currency coin in their
begging bowls?
Had all your so called manliness; the sheer euphoria in your raw voice
unthinkably died; that you now resorted to sadistically sodomizing the
godly bodies of small children; just to entertain the treacherously
chauvinistic high society; and then roll in a fetid lavatory of
abominably cursed pearls?
Had all your so called manliness; the optimism to triumph in your eyes
flagrantly died; that you now resorted to gorily gouging the godly
eyes of small children; so that every passing onlooker took pity on
them; and thereby gave shelter to you too alongwith them; as their
spurious father?
Had all your so called manliness; the fervent machismo in your blood
inanely died; that you now resorted to invidiously train the godly
fingers of small children to fire a gun; so that you forever slept on
a pillow of gold; and were never ever remanded for the heinous crime?
Had all your so called manliness; the inimitable authority in your
footsteps lividly died; that you now resorted to execute your
worthless experiments on the godly veins of small children; and then
selling your wastrel patents for millions to the demons of the
sacrilegious underworld?
Had all your so called manliness; the unparalleled virility in your
loins shamefully died; that you now resorted to ghoulishly castrating
the godly organs of small children; so that they became a perennial
income source for each of your misdeeds; clapping house to house and
at each sanctimonious function of the society; as imbecile eunuchs?
Had all your so called manliness; the blazing dynamism in your throat
distastefully died; that you now resorted to coercing the godly voices
of small children to endlessly wail; to capture the hearts and pockets
of the biggest connoisseurs and patrons of humanity; alike?
Had all your so called manliness; the inherent brilliance of
innovation in your brain contemptuously died; that you now resorted to
rampantly behead the godly necks of small children; on the barbarous
pretexts of feckless religion; caste; creed; color and tribe?
Had all your so called manliness; the unbridled compassion of your
chest gruesomely died; that you now resorted to deceitfully lure the
godly spirit of small children into the drudgery of drugs addiction;

Like a cloud in the sky,
Floating silently by,
I get noticed here and there,
But no-one really seems to care.

I fly by all alone,
Once again I’m on my own,
Like a bottle out at sea,
No-one seems to notice me.

Friends are nowhere to be seen,
I’m like a pie with no cream.
I’m like a twin on itself
I’m an empty bookshelf.

I start getting angry,
And I act rather badly.
Become isolated,
Realise its me that I’ve hated.

Shut in the dark,
About to embark.
On the greatest journey yet,
Its about time we met.

Myself and me,
We want to be.
Together as we should,
Together like we could.

Once I start to like me,
Maybe I will start to see.
I have friends there,
Who really really do care.

Come on and save me
I’m loosing my mind
Waiting and waiting
For you to be mine

Im eternally yours
If only you could see
We may be oceans away
But my love for you
Grows with each passing day

Come home to me
Come home and be mine
Come and save me
From the misery I’m confined in

I miss you
More than you’ll ever know
Be safe my love
Be safe until tomorrow

I’m not sick, I’m fine
I’m just sick of you
I’m sick of your outrageous lies
I’m sick of how you act when you’re not around me
How you pretend to be a sweet angel when you’re with me
and a evil-ish devil when you’re not around me
I hate it how you say something now
and then change it afterward
You always do this to me
and I pretend you never did and don’t tell you nothing
But now I’m getting so sick of it
which leads me to getting sick of you
I’m sorry my love,
but I cant live like this anymore

All the time
I look in your eyes
But what I see
And what you say to me
Are two totally different things
You pretend you put on a façade
I only wish you knew that I’m not
The only one who sees it as odd
Fake people
The things they do are oh so evil
Because of their own insecurities
They try to pass on to you their idiosyncrasies
Thinking they are your friends you let them into your lives
But then they turn around and about you tell nothing but lies
Jealousy is such an ugly thing
Almost as ugly as hypocrisy
Fake people
The things they do are oh so evil
Fake people
Fake people
So now I must ask who are your friends
Are they really what they seem to be
Or are they just trying to hide from you their envy
Do your friends really have your back
Or is it that that’s where by them you’ve been stabbed
I once had a friend
One I thought would be there for me till the end
Then one day my happiness ended and theirs began
And when I needed someone to lean on
Behind me did no one stand
Fake people
The things they do are oh so evil
Because of their own insecurities
They try to pass on to you their idiosyncrasies
Thinking they are your friends you let them into your lives
But then they turn around and about you tell nothing but lies
Jealousy is such an ugly thing
Almost as ugly as hypocrisy
Fake people
The things they do are oh so evil
Fake people
Fake people
Be careful who you let know your business
‘Cause in the end
Rumors about you they could be spreadin’
Don’t put your trust in people who don’t trust you
There’s no telling what they’re liable to say or do
Grow smarter with each experience
And you’ll see true friends
Are the friends who are their with and for you till the end
Fake people
The things they do are oh so evil
Because of their own insecurities
They try to pass on to you their idiosyncrasies
Thinking they are your friends you let them into your lives
But then they turn around and about you tell nothing but lies
Jealousy is such an ugly thing
Almost as ugly as hypocrisy
Fake people
The things they do are oh so evil
Fake people
Fake people

This place is boring
People so fake
I can’t hardly escape
Their plastic smiles
And cheap laughter

“What’s up?”
“How are you?”
“Whatcha up to?”

As we go behind your back.
Relax and get used to this
No!
I’ve lived in denial
They taught me what it’s like
To be so used to things
I can’t take all these cheap feelings
I can’t
And I won’t
Any longer
Why do we try?
To please ourselves is a lie
We all are taught to believe
And I won’t modestly conceive
All this crap you’re feeding me!
Raise me to praise
But you’re in a hazy daze
Try hard,
Try hard to fail
And the shit you hail and praise
Isn’t something I can.

It was all about you
(And) never about us